"I Wish" List

I wish that I could get inside of your head the way that you get into mine

I wish that I could floss without drawing blood

I wish that my car would run on water

I wish that those Hollywood actors would stop trying to tell me who to vote for

I wish that people wouldn’t drive with their brights on

I wish that people wouldn’t stock the toilet paper backwards

I wish that there weren’t so many judges on TV

I wish that cops would signal when they turn

I wish that people would wear jackets instead of asking to have the heater cranked up

I wish that batteries wouldn’t die so fast

I wish that I’d always have the right size screwdriver

I wish that my facial hair wouldn’t grow so fast

I wish that printers would never run out of ink

I wish that sports would stay on their own channels and not interrupt my favorite reruns

I wish that grass stains would always come out

I wish that my shirts would never get stuck on their hangers

I wish that no one was expected to be awake until noon

I wish that vacuums wouldn’t fill up so fast

I wish that ice wouldn’t melt so fast

I wish that my discs were always in their correct cases

I wish that my drink would always be cold

I wish that I could have never-ending storage-space

I wish that paper wasn’t made from trees

I wish that tobacco didn’t exist

I wish that alcohol didn’t exist

I wish that “drugs” didn’t exist

I wish that pride didn’t exist

I wish that teachers were smart

I wish that schools were educational

I wish that soda would come out of the faucet

I wish that I’d never get a flat tire

I wish that people wouldn’t talk in the movie theatre

I wish that men wouldn’t wear earrings

I wish that the shower would never run out of hot water

I wish that my guitar strings wouldn’t bust so easily

I wish that I’d never get lost while driving

I wish that all dogs could have their own warm houses

I wish that I’d always have enough butter for my pancakes

I wish that cats weren’t so smug

I wish that it wouldn’t be so cold in the morning

I wish that people wouldn’t eat the leftovers that I’d been looking forward to all day

I wish that people wouldn’t wave to me when I’m driving

I wish that I’d never outgrow old clothes

I wish that the lawn would mow itself

I wish that food wouldn’t go bad

I wish that couples wouldn’t argue in front of company

I wish that the sixteen-year-old punk behind the window at the movies wouldn’t ask to see my ID

I wish that people would turn down their car stereos when in a drive-thru

I wish that black ants wouldn’t smell when you neutralize them

I wish that music today was real

I wish that I’d never lose my keys

I wish that I’d never lose my phone

I wish that I’d never lose my glasses

I wish that I’d never lose my wallet

I wish that people wouldn’t stop me and try to sell me things in the mall

I wish that I could be a boy again

I wish that I could travel back and forward in time

I wish that dinosaurs had simple names like Bobsaurus and Erniesaur

I wish that the government would bail me out

I wish that babies would change themselves

I wish that Jehovah’s Witnesses would just send a friendly email or something

I wish that red apples were as good as green ones

I wish that I could erase what I don’t like from my memory

I wish that people would just follow the rules

I wish that people wouldn’t ask me how I’m doing

I wish that phone conversations had a time limit

I wish that people wouldn’t be so pushy

I wish that Santa Clause was real

I wish that I could fly

I wish that fish weren’t so ugly

I wish that dogs would only bark when necessary

I wish that cashiers wouldn’t ask me if I’d like to apply for a “store card”

I wish that my car could talk

I wish that books had “built in” lights for night-reading

I wish that wishing mattered

I wish that I had more time to complain

And I wish that I wouldn’t have to wish so much..

 

Vincent J. Vera